Within the post is featured a video interview with Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice.   According to Schwartz, those who insist they will not settle with regard to their choice of a mate, no matter what, oftentimes find themselves never satisfied with any choice they ultimately make.

Holding out for “the best” or bust, often leaves you paralyzed and unhappy. Or perpetually single, as it might be.

We agree with both Schwartz and Katz; it’s certainly OK to be selective and we strongly suggest being so.  Perfection is very rare to come by.  Your imagination can always conjure up someone better.

Remember, life is not always black or white…but shades of grey.

With over half-a-million people ditched in the USA EACH DAY - according to research from a recent Glamour Magazine article - this data should soften the blow of any romantic breakup you may incur.  If not, you may want to follow the 10 tips within this Glamour article…

10 Breakup Tips From the Wise Friend You Always Listen To

We especially like #9 “Go do stuff”, as it does not mean listening to sad songs or eating your favorite ice cream.  But, it does encourage you to not be afraid to do things like see a movie (a funny one), or go to a great restaurant by yourself – it can be very liberating!

As Glamour Mag states: “Whatever you do, do NOT simply “accept that you have emotions and then fall into them.” That’s terrible advice.”

We agree!!!

Why is This Man Laughing?

Interesting piece from Dating Guru, Evan Marc Katz, last month regarding the ability to be happy with a mate who is not funny?   As Evan mentioned,  “if you make it a deal breaker, it’s a deal breaker. If you don’t, it’s not.” In addition, he mentioned that this question could be replaced with any “affliction”, such as your partner not making enough money, religious views, sex drive, etc…  No matter what, they do bring something to the table with regard to the relationship.  You simply have to see it as more than just a simple “black or white” issue.

But, when it comes to humor, Katz provides a list to follow if this becomes an issue in your relationship…

1. You want a partner who gets the joke. This is a non-negotiable. If you think you’re funny, you’d better be with someone who actually agrees with you. My former writing partner had a girlfriend who thought he was cute and smart, but didn’t find him funny at all. This drove him crazy, since he thought being funny was one of his most valued traits.

 Read the rest of Mark’s list here: http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/can-i-be-happy-with-a-man-who-isnt-funny/

In reality, you can always get your humor quotient filled by family members or other friends.   Ultimately, you need to look at the partnership as a whole…if it’s positive and your mate makes you feel good overall and can appreciate you and support you – that is the key to a successful relationship.

For more info on how Martine can help you, contact us at http://facetofacecharleston.com

The show is basically the format of American Idol in that you’ve got multiple people competing for one slot — the slot of course is marrying, in this case a bachelor, who is Tim Lopez; a real life rock star and lead singer of the Palin White T’s.

In the show, they do a lot in threes — there are three matchmakers. Each Matchmaker has a number of people on their team and they eliminate them one-by-one to get it down to three contestants from each matchmaker for a total of nine candidates for Tim.  Tim then meets all the girls — they pack a lot in on this show.

The three matchmakers are:  Amber Kelleher-Andrews, an internationally renowned relationship expert and matchmaker.  The second matchmaker is Matt Hussey, a motivational speaker who is out of London.  The third matchmaker, Tracy McMillan, is actually a relationship author, which gives things slightly different spin as she serves as a coach.

After the dates, the matchmakers critique all their team members, and select one to go home.

One of  big tips to take away from last night - the first date should be like a playdate, light and fun.

Matt Hussey talked about emotion versus logic on the date which I thought was good advice.  There was also a girl with this very long list that she trotted out and  told Tim he met like 25 things on this list, and of course Matt is left thinking, wow I only meet half her requirements!

I think right now the show is fairly believable because the first guy they have up is already a successful entertainer who is probably used to living in front of the camera to some degree.  So it sort of feels normal for them to be in his world and on TV and he is used to living in the fishbowl and just let your whole life hang out there.

But yes, I feel like it’s real enough that this particular guy should be able to find a woman that he could definitely spend the rest of his life with out of these nine womenl.  I thought that the matchmakers did a really good job of finding compatible people, people that could be Tim’s soulmate – people with the right passions for music.  It’s a very diverse lineup and I just I like the way they put the show together.

They also have this thing with this girl Leah, somebody who applied because she knew Tim from before and had a secret crush on him.  Well, she got sent home — he didn’t feel it for her before and last night, nothing changed.

The one major premise I wonder about is this.  I would put Tim with someone who wanted to tour with him.  A couple of them mentioned trying to find independent people who will stay faithful while he’s gone 330 days a year. That is bound to fail in my opinion.  I mean Steven Tyler ended up with his accountant – and she is on the road with him

 “It has long been said that the Holy City heavily favors men with its surplus of women. But that rumor can be officially put to rest. According to a 2011 U.S. Census survey, when it comes to single males and females ages 20-plus here, the ratio is 1.2 to 1—hardly the significant advantage guys have bragged about for years.”

Martine Friedman O’Keefe said –”It’s so gratifying to see Darcy Shankland publish the analysis I did, and jump on board with me to dispel that rumor.  It was important to me do this kind of research when I opened the company so I wasn’t operating on myths and hearsay.”  Having an MBA in Marketing Management, it occurred to me to just pull the data and see !

When it comes to successful matchmaking in Charleston, there’s no denying that Martine knows her stuff - just ask Charleston Magazine!

Thanks to Jennifer Dienst and Darcy Shankland for helping Charlestonians find love again!

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Even YOU will love Valentine’s Day this year!

 

Invite for A Bite is a new social networking website where women can find other ladies in their area to go out for lunch, so they don’t have to endure the “embarrassment” of eating alone.

First of all… Who’s embarrassed? As a woman, I thoroughly enjoy my lunch dates with myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good lunch date with the girls but I get equal satisfaction of dining alone.

The benefits of eating alone almost outnumber eating with friends: I don’t have to worry about whether or not there will be something on the menu my friend can eat; I don’t have to constantly entertain my date nor do I have to worry about proper eating/socializing etiquette. Not that I’m a slob but talking while dining can get messy and extend the eating process by at least a half hour. Eating alone removes the talking bit so I can get to chowing down faster.

Secondly, the number one flaw I see with this site is like internet dating sites, there’s no instant gratification. You have to create a profile, plan when you want to go eat, then read through numerous profiles to find a gal pal who fits your specs. Once you’ve decided on your new female friend the site suggest that you give your new BFFL (Best Friend for Lunch) a ring and chat for a bit (you know, so you can figure out whether or not she’s a complete loon).  THEN you get to the chowing down part. This process is way to long for my grumbling stomach.

Finally, what is to stop this from turning into a dating site, or a really creepy stalking site? After years of using the internet we should all know by now that the first rule of the internet is not to trust the internet.  

Website founder Cressida Howard explains her motivation for making the site unisex:

“As soon as you introduce the idea of men and women meeting for meals, it becomes almost impossible to distinguish it from a dating site. No matter how many times you explained that it wasn’t, common sense dictates that it would be treated as such by some people.”

I still believe that even though the site has banned one sex from being able to search for their BFFL, there is still a very high possibility of turning Invite for a Bite into a dating site.

On The Other Hand

The major benefit of this website is the ability to go from an online social network to offline networking, which is key to creating lasting bonds (or as I like to call it, “networking like a pro”). This could also be a great tool for new transplants to an area or women who have focused on one aspect of their life for too long (career, kids, men, etc) and have now found themselves with few girl friends.

An Introduction to Social Psychology By Miles Hewstone, Klaus Jonas, Wolfgang Stroebe, tells us that being part of a social network is “vital to both our mental and physical health.” Yet becoming a victim of internet stalking can quickly negate those beneficial effects.

While this site could end up being the next great social networking site for women, I’d give it a few months before rushing to put up my profile. For those ladies who are looking to network for lunch in Charleston ASAP, there are some great established lunch groups who meet all around the holy city. Like Susan Lucas’ group Let’s Do Lunch or check out any dining group focused around your interests on Meetup.com.

So Ladies, what do you think? Good idea or does it need work? Guys, would you use a website like this one designed just for men?

It’s that time of the year again when many singles feel left out. If you’re like many of us out there who wished they could hibernate until February 15, never fear. We have some ideas for you to have a blast this Valentine’s Day.

Network like a Boss

One of the best ways to find a date is to network. And by networking we don’t mean hitting up Market Street Salon on Friday night. Networking is making meaningful connections with likeminded people, not drunken connections in a dark bar.

Don’t get me wrong, making time for your social life is so important, especially during the weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day. But if your only networking technique is to hit up the bars on the weekends? You are really limiting the “types” of connections you are going to find.

Get out there and network like it’s your job! Target singles events, business networking happy hours and events involving your hobbies. This is how you’re going to make true connections with people who share your interests.

Shameless Plug: If you’re looking for a great singles event full of quality single professionals well look no further. We are hosting our annual Valentine’s Party on Saturday, February 11, downtown at Saffire on Lockwood. Most of you have no excuse to miss a Saturday event (well at least no work excuse) and if you happen to meet someone special or even make new friends, it gives you a few days to plan something for the big day, itself. Want more details? Click here.

Stay Positive

Stay busy doing fun things. Plan a spa trip with the girls or a golfing day with your buddies. Get a few of your friends together for a dinner party on the 14th. Go see a band you’ve never heard of or check out one of the many new bars on King St. Whatever you do, make sure it’s fun and you are being open to meeting new people.

This means smiling, a lot! You never know when an opportunity is going to present itself so by always being open you are increasing your chances of meeting someone. Make eye contact with anyone who looks your way – especially making eye contact with those who speak to you is also very important to remember. Meeting new people is always a good thing. Even if you don’t experience a deep connection with them, your new friend might have another single friend to introduce you to!

Here are some great events going on around town leading up to Vday:

Wednesday, Feb 8: Guys, if you hear “wine tasting” and roll your eyes, maybe you should reconsider. Think about it this way – women love wine tastings. You want to meet women, therefore you should be at the wine tasting (especially one downtown in a fun bar). Simple as that. Big Ass Wine Tasting Bday Party at Social.

Wednesday Feb 8 – 21: If you enjoy the blues or just like having a good time, get out and enjoy some tunes at the Lowcountry Blues Bash. 

Sunday, Feb 12: Here’s a fun Oyster Roast on Goldberg Island 

Tuesday, Feb 14: Anti-Valentine’s Day Party. It’s common sense. You want to meet singles, go to a singles party (especially a fun singles party).  Any anti-valentine’s day parties are going to be pretty much the best place to meet other singles on this day.

More:

Check out meetup.com – you can find tons of groups who share your similar interests and hobbies. Find a group you’re interested in and see if they have anything planned or suggest a “meetup” yourself!

So what are your plans this Valentine’s Day? Leave your responses in the comments below or email me at social@facetofacecharleston.com