Why am I still single?

 

By Martine Friedman O’Keefe

Why am I still single?  This is the hunka hunka burning question in everyone’s minds.

The answer is that you are still single because you haven’t figured out how to be “coupled”. In a sense, you are so used to being single, it becomes difficult to overcome the habit of being single, and the myths you buy:  like “I intimidate men” or  ”women just like men with money” to comfort yourself.

Top 5 differences between singles who stay single and singles who become part of a couple

#1

Single you

You expect everyone to perform exactly on cue on your first dates

vs.

Soon to be coupled you

You realize dating is messy and you dive in anyway

#2

Single you

You carry your wounds with you, you feel all of the opposite sex behave the same so you can’t let anyone in

vs.

Soon to be coupled you

You acknowledge your wounds, and accept them so they don’t define you

#3

Single you

There is no one good enough for you.  You don’t want to get involved with someone who might end up with a medical problem (which is everyone), or who isn’t perfectly financially set for life (which is almost no one), or doesn’t like all the same things you like (can’t handle any conflict).

vs.

Soon to be coupled you

You recognize your own flaws, and see people as a package of characteristics.  You don’t get hung up on one mistake, or two, but you will walk away from a consistent pattern of mistakes.

#4

Single you

You look for all the reasons it won’t ever work.  There is a fatal flaw there and you will uncover it through interrogation or any means necessary.  This is called “being jaded” or not even giving it a chance.

vs.

Soon to be coupled you

You look for reasons why it might work.  You find things in common.  You bring the chemistry to your dates.

#5

Single you

Everything you think about why you are single is probably wrong.  There are many more myths about why people are single than there is truth.  Dating is complicated.

vs.

Soon to be coupled you

You stopped and studied who you really are, and what you really actually need, which if you are healthy is a whole lot less than your still searching single counterpart.  Your search is authentic, not a contest to see whose mate gets the highest score when ranked by friends. You are willing to deal in reality.  It’s called confidence.  It’s the biggest aphrodisiac. But it isn’t Wolf of Wall Street confidence, it’s confidence blended with empathy and humility.

Be a great person, like the one you seek to find a relationship with, and you will attract someone on your level.  If you are strong enough to be vulnerable, if you can pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep trying until it takes, then you will find the love you seek.

 

 

 

About facetofacecharleston

Face to Face Charleston is a truly different concept where social networking meets professional matchmaking. Face to Face Charleston is a Charleston, SC matchmaking company that provides a higher level of business and personal networking opportunities to single professionals through live events, database profile management and private matchmaking. Our mission is to help busy single professionals overcome the isolation of technology and get connected face to face. Get more information about Face to Face Charleston by clicking the home tab or going to www.facetofacecharleston.com
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